A Groom’s Perspective
So you’ve saved up enough money to buy her dream ring, planned a memorable engagement, and mustered up enough courage to ask her father for her hand in marriage. Now all you have to do is get married. Sure, it sounds easy enough but, from what you’re hearing from all of your married buddies planning the wedding is absolutely HELL. Your loving fiancée and future mother of your children, turns into a bridezilla. She is hell bent on planning the perfect wedding down to the very last little detail, and will do anything to make sure its everything she has ever dreamed of. Here are some tips to avoid letting that inner bridezilla out of the cage.
1. Even if you don’t care, give your input it’s your wedding too: Sure the thought of picking out different color linens and fabric styles for your dinner tables makes you want to smash your head against the kitchen counter, but the reality is its your wedding too. Your bride-to-be might not take your opinion into consideration, but she loves that you are taking an interest in YOUR wedding. Either way she will probably just tell you that you are wrong and move on.
2. If you can’t figure out what to do, ask: You’ve never planned a wedding before, hell you’ve never even really gave your wedding much more then a passing thought. Well, your bride-to-be has been thinking about this day since she knew what a wedding was. She has a perfect wedding in mind and a list of things to do a mile long. Help your bride by taking on a small list of tasks. Offer to pick up items such as linens, tables, chairs, or run small errands. Every little bit will help reduce the stress she may be feeling.
3. Head wedding projects that you are excited about: there are lots of aspects of the wedding that you absolutely have no interest in, find the things that you ARE excited about and take those on yourself. What groom isn’t interested in what kind of alcohol you’re having at the wedding, or your transportation from the ceremony to the reception, specifically the party bus! How about you and your groomsmen’s outfit? You’re not a little boy anymore, mom isn’t dressing you. Pick out your outfits or at least express an opinion when planning with your bride.
4. Use those muscles: If all else fails, use that bod to help carry heavy things for her. It’s the little things that let her know you care.
5. Plan the honeymoon: Let’s be honest, yes you want to get married. Yes you are ready to let loose at your wedding reception, but honestly you can’t wait for the honeymoon. No work, no worries, just you and your wife for a full week sitting on a sunny beach, drinking fruity drinks as seen on the travel channel, and a little romance! Take this opportunity to remove one more thing from her to do list and have some fun playing travel agent.
6. DIY Projects: In today’s world, the combination of social media, economy, and the unreal expectations of a perfect wedding lead to cost saving ideas. In come the DIY projects. You’ve heard of Pinterest by now I’m sure. It’s like girl heaven, or so I have been told. Your bride has pinned, poked, shared and grammed plenty of craft ideas that she has no idea how to accomplish. Save some money and be her “Tim the Tool Man Taylor”, by taking on the DIY Projects.
7. Budgeting: Put the clamps on spending. You and I both know that you don’t have enough money for this wedding that your Bride-to-be has been dreaming of since diapers. Limit your spending up until your wedding day. If she sees you saving she will save too. I’m sure she can live without that extra pair of shoes, or throw pillow for the bed, and you don’t need the iPhone controlled helicopter camera. You’re going to get money and gifts for your wedding, so save your personal money and wait to indulge until after the Big Day.
8. Venting: It’s inevitable that at some point in time, no matter how much you have been helping that your bride-to-be is going to feel overwhelmed. Don’t just tell her to quit bitching and move on. It’s not going to work out in your favor. ALWAYS be willing to let her vent, even if it’s for 5 minutes (which it won’t be, sorry). Letting her talk it out with you will help relieve some stress and show that you are her knight in shining armor.
9. Take a break: Piggy backing off of venting, always make sure to take time away from wedding planning for your sanity and hers. Take time to plan a romantic date. You probably won’t have to hear about anything wedding related (although highly doubtful).
10. Chores: Everyone knows that we as men hate chores, honey do lists or anything of that nature. However, in these special circumstances, household chores are way better than doing anything wedding related. Help your Bride by taking on the regular household chores. She already has enough on her plate, ya know with planning your wedding and everything. The extra help around the house will go along way 😉
11. Communication: I’m sure your soon to be wife loves your friends and your friends love her, but she doesn’t want to hassle them for details on their wedding attire and they don’t want to be nagged by her. They get it enough at home as it is. Communicate with your bros so they don’t have to be nagged by your wife.
12. Clothing: An extra donut during work and a late night burger and beer sound delicious, but they don’t help when you have already been fitted for that wedding outfit YOU picked out 6 months ago. If you have purchased your suit, try on your wedding attire every couple months to ensure everything still fits. The last thing your bride needs to worry about is dressing you like a five year old last minute. God knows if you and your groomsmen don’t match, the whole wedding will be ruined. Don’t be that guy that waits until the last minute to try things on.
13. Paper Trail: Keep your receipts from everything you have purchased for the wedding. If your bride is anything like mine, she wants to organize every little detail.
14. Last, but not least: Have fun! Wedding planning should be fun. It’s YOUR wedding, the happiest day of your life. Enjoy this time because it will go faster than you know. Having fun will lead to less stress and a better wedding overall.
If you do any number of these tips, it will limit your fiancés stress and help you become the man of her dreams.